Thursday, June 15, 2017

Dealing With An Individual's Expiration Time

We’re at the halfway point of the year and I received some very disturbing news this morning from a dear friend's sibling that has turned my world upside down today. I’ve just learned that my best friend of nigh 34 years is headed to becoming an ancestor sometime this year due to their ongoing health complications.

The difficult part of this sort of news is that it’s hard on the individual’s existing family members even though they do not have any children of their own to be concerned about leaving behind. The siblings and the nieces/nephews are enough to be left let alone the few friends they’ve known (such as myself) for almost 34 years.

I can hear the fools now saying, “Gee Moloch, guess you’re not that powerful, hunh?” and that’s a moron’s way of looking at this because you’re talking out of your ass since you don’t know the whole story. It’s NOT about power because if this individual wanted to live longer, there are both medical and occult ways to do it! Hell, if they would have just take/n their medication alone then their life would be extended further. However some folks have lived their lives under the knife on the operating table long enough and have made a decision to forgo further invasive treatments and I have to respect that decision. Especially when I’ve been asked not to do anything for them.

The real issue here for me is that this individual has been a dear friend of mine for 34 years. We’ve been though thick and thin together. I don’t want them to die but that’s MY selfishness coming out. Thus I must come to terms with the fact they will no longer be in my immediate life for me to hang out with. *sigh* Yeah that’s depressing as it is. The holidays will suck too without them around. Plus growing older without a dear friend from my youth as such really blows. I had hoped we’d get into trouble together, somehow, as we began to creep into our 70's.

I don’t have many people I call “friend” only three in my life and one has already passed onto Summerland last year. She was 72. She’s an ancestor on my shrine and never forgotten. Now friend number two is about to expire and that really sucks. In Haitian Vodu, we’re taught to work with the Guede (re: the Dead) and the ancestors which helps make US less fearful of death for ourselves but that does not stop the pain or hurt when you know you’re going to lose someone you’ve loved, argued with, fought for, and bled for, for over 30 years. Can the Baron and the Guede help me get through this? Absolutely however they can’t stop the sting which is forthcoming. It’s pain of loss that must come.

They will become a beloved ancestor to add to my shrine even though they’re not blood related - frankly spilling blood for me is close enough. We’ve loaned money to one another over the years, labored together, laughed together and done what we could to help one another. If that’s not family then I have no clue what is. I have blood relatives who I could give a damn about that want nothing to do with me and the feeling is mutual. This individual is someone I’d do anything for if asked.

Sometimes I think KNOWING someone is going to expire is harder than not knowing and just learning about it all of a sudden. Hug your loved ones. Visit them frequently. I plan on spending more time with this person. As much as I can.