Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Don't Mistake Confidence for Arrogance

About 16 years ago, I was involved in door-to-door sales which involved the knocking of doors obviously. Like a lot of people I had high anxiety at knocking on the doors due to all sorts of fears rattling through my mind which prevented me from making any real money. I was a decent enough closer who once I was able to get a qualified customer in front of me, I could present to and give them an opportunity to make an informed decision of yea or nay. But to get to that point in D2D sales  you need to first have the confidence to knock doors and make phone calls. Enter the above book...

I was in Half Price Books one Friday night looking at their business, marketing and sales books to see what I could unearth that may have a nugget of gold that I could use or adapt to my practice. That night I was looking for something to help me overcome my fear of rejection and then I saw this book sitting there on the shelf. Now you have to understand I was not nearly as shy as I was growing up but I was MUCH shyer than I am today. You see I grew up with a very poor self-esteem and no one in my family ever bothered to help me overcome this poor self-image or lack of self-esteem. I had to do it on my own.

Obviously this affected my paycheck via my negotiation skills and it also affected my lackluster, non-existent love life that didn’t get started until I was in my early 20's. I wasn’t stupid by any stretch. A little green maybe at that age but who isn’t? My problem was confidence. But hey when you grow up with a physical handicap and you’re told all your life “You’ll never be able to do (fill in the blank)” or “You can’t do (fill in blank)” what are you supposed to become? Definitely NOT "the most interesting man in the world", that’s for certain. In fact I was so backwards and shy that my stomach used to cramp up at hearing my own named called over a loudspeaker or in an office setting.

Well that Friday night I bought one book, Walter Anderson’s and there were a LOT of other books I wanted as well but I decided I was going to dedicate the entire weekend to studying his course and doing the exercises to help me come out of my shell. At the same time I had began to do a series of workings with Tiriel over business and I felt He wanted me to pursue this book to the exclusion of all else until I got the material down pat. So I focused and that’s what I did. I sad down, shut off the computer, opened a fresh theme book and pack of pens then began to read. The course is not difficult as Mr. Anderson’s writing style is smooth and easy to comprehend. There is much worthwhile in the course book to study and make use of. Literally you cannot do the entire book in just two days as it really takes a full week at the least but better if you take your time and stretch it out some.

With each day I learned something new and got more excited about my beginning confidence. I also noticed that as my personal confidence gained, my attitude changed. I went from being this quiet, mostly reserved guy into more of an outspoken yet sociable individual. Not overnight mind you but over time. Sadly I did not pick up the skills and habits fast enough to save my D2D job so I got let go. *shrugs* When you don’t produce, they let you go. However I applied for a sales position at a new company that sold Amish raised beef, pork and poultry meats.

At first the company was providing me with leads and I was doing quite well closing deals but the real money came when our sales manager was wanting us to re-work each other’s leads that either were no-show’s or flat out no-sales. I ended up getting a stack from a guy who pre-qualified his own leads (even though the company already qualified his lead for him.) So I began calling his leads and wow B. really honked his prospects off. (I never argued with prospects because I didn’t care if they bought or not.) B. always argued with his and he’d walk in saying, “Only an idiot would turn down something as great as this!” thus why we called him the Sledgehammer

Anyway, I got hold of one of B’s leads that he had honked off over the phone. Yes she wanted to speak to me. Why? Well her mother had our service, or one just like it, when she lived in North Carolina. (Holy crap, that is awesome to hear!) She affirmed to me that she and hubby COULD afford this (he was a collections mgr for a big outfit, she a stay at home mom) and wanted me to drive 2 hours to meet with them. Okay so I shored up my confidence and went. Long story short, 1.5 hours with them over dinner and the kids, signed contracts, down payment, and double commission in my pocket all because I had the confidence to pick up the phone and make a call then go see them! And I asked them for referrals. ;)

After that the gravy train rolled into town because I got brazen! I began asking for referrals on EVERY call I made whether I made a sale or not! Yuppers, even if I just met them for fifteen minutes I’d ask for referrals and guess what? I usually walk out with at least three names and numbers to call. Why? All because I had the confidence to ask. Yes confidence. Ask and ye shall receive!

The bottom line is this: most of the best stuff in life requires confidence of some type. If you lack confidence, why not shore yours up by taking the time to read Anderson’s book and check yours against his checkpoints? Trust me, there’s quite a bit you may learn from this course. There are useful writing scenarios as well as essays for your own benefit that can help you pinpoint where your weaknesses lie.

Every job and position in the world requires confidence of some type. It is what it takes to make it big. Even driving a vehicle requires confidence in your skills and abilities to pilot it. Often people have the requisite skill to do so but they lack the confidence to do it. I’ve tutored several young folks and middle aged folks to get their driver’s licenses and their biggest fears were wrapped up in lack of self-confidence.

Sometimes occultists, wiccans, witches and even sorcerers who lack result may just have confidence issues. Now obviously NOT in every case but in cases where there should be little resistance to their request, usually the culprit is they lack the confidence.

Conditioning is the bad guy who causes the real lack of confidence in our society. Being told something repeatedly until you believe it has a major effect on your abilities both inner and outer. So before you go blaming the incense or astrological timing, make certain your lack of result isn’t due to your poor self esteem or lack of confidence. Is it possible your lack of result is due to your lack of confidence? Perhaps you fear what someone else said? Maybe someone you hold in very high esteem? I ask because sometimes, that's all it takes to put barriers up to our confidence is someone else telling us in an offhand way that such and such is not going to work or blah-blah-blah.