Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Bealtaine Season, Weather & Neighborhood Prosyletizers

Bealtaine. One of my favorite pagan holidays. Why? Well since the early 90's, I've made it a tradition to go & hang out with my local Druid friends in the greater Cleveland area at the Metro Parks for this annual celebration. Usually I try to write a song to share with the Spirits or bring an offering and this year I'm thinking a good bottle of dark rum for the Spirits is just what the Witch Doctor ordered! They have been very good to me thus far this year & so I've decided to get them a fifth & bring it to the ritual. Yes, yes, yes I could easily give it to the Spirits at home and with that said however the ADF Druids are one of the only pagan organizations whose rituals I validate as legit.

The ADF Druids invoke a Gate Keeper, the Ancestors, the Land Wights, the Shining Ones & they even make an offering to the Out Dwellers to leave the ritual alone. Not exactly Haitain Vodu but damn good for a mainstream Pagan system if you ask me. Miles ahead of the McWiccan ritual. Bealtaine is usually lovely weather but this year, Mother Earth is showing us that She has not finished with the chilly weather as of yet so when we normally just meet in an open air pavilion, we shall be meeting in the enclosed lodge nearby where it is heated & no worries about rain.

Most Witches love Samhain due to the way the earth changes for the time of year, the folklore associated with it & of course the All Hallows Eve candy drives the little goblins go out on in urban & suburban neighborhoods. While I like this one as well, there's something to be said for Bealtaine as well! Prior to Bealtaine (May 1st) we have April 30 aka Walpurgisnacht (pronounced: voll-purge-iss-nockt) when witches in Germany would fly on their brooms to meet up at the Brocken. So Bealtaine too is a very mystical time of the year and I like it.

As I sit here typing this, it is 73 degrees outside but the wind is blowing so much that it does not feel 73 - more like 65 or lower. In the Sun light, it is fine but in a shade you get chilly. I'm not a big believer in this misnomer of 'Global Warming' but I DO believe in 'Global Climate Changes' that is going on. Yeah I know people keep referring to it as Global Warming but it's okay people still want to use a 'k' at the end of magic to be different as well.

What makes me chuckle the most with the whole Global Warming Crowd is the complaining about things like chemtrails, HAARP, and other man-made things that they believe is causing this massive planet to change its weather patterns. My opinion is that the Earth herself goes through changes ever so many years (be they hundreds, thousands or tens of thousands) and we just happen to be in the midst of a change. What to do? Nothing we can do. We haven't colonized the Moon let alone any other planets so relocating is out of the question. Thus all we can do is batten down the hatches & ride it out!

Do you get religious people coming to your door to proselytize their beliefs? Even in areas where door-to-door soliciting is illegal & only made legal by obtaining a permit for peddling, religious peeps ignore that & think it's okay to knock on your door & tell  you about the word of Jesus. I find this position silly today because back in the days when the New Testament was being written, the only way to spread word of anything was by foot or hoof or boat. Today we have far reaching global communications that allow for us to get anything we want.

Got a question about the Apostles? There's websites online that will answer all your questions. Want to read the bible but don't want to buy one? All of them are online in every language. Have questions about Xianity? You can stop at any church, call any pastor in the phone book or look online & find out any number of answers to the question(s) you have for them. In truth, there is no need for religions to proselytize - except to put pressure on you in person. It's a known fact that looking someone in the eye, belly to belly, causes pressure on the person you are trying to subjugate to your way of thinking.

It's easy: make them think you're nuts & they will never darken your door again. How you ask? Tell them something goofy, like I do, such as "I worship the Great Blue Turnip of Planet X-103! I'm a lowly Radish and aspire to be a High Rutabega in His Heavenly Garden!" When they say stuff like, "Amen!" I say, "Praise Celery!"

Last people to stop by to try to get me to go to church were a couple of little old men from the local Baptist church. They didn't know WHAT to think of me. ;) They offered me a bible tract & so I had them wait a moment, ran to the fridge & got them a stalk of celery and told them to eat it & meditating on the Great Blue Turnip! Again the deer in the headlights stare....

Needless to say, it's worked well for me. I no longer have the JW's, Mormons, Baptists or Church of God peeps knocking on my door. They'll knock on my neighbor's door but they steer clear of me. ;)


  1. I am having a little gathering for Walpurgisnacht this year. I am looking forward to it. It is a great time of year indeed.

  2. My wife and I get the same reaction when we say we are Buddhists. What is it about turnips and Buddhists that frighten them so?

  3. samhain/all saints & walpurgisnacht are bookends for me. i don't fare well in humid weather (the only thing summer is good for is tomatoes & gardening)& the sun isn't as fond of my skin tone as i am of her, so walpurgisnacht is close to the end of enjoyable weather while samhain is the time when i'm coming out of summer hibernation. both are such wild & powerful time of the year!